從英國回來快要滿一年,但在確定拿到學位後,人生沒有因為這樣一帆風順(當然不會),生活反而是不斷地載浮載沉,充滿著困惑和焦慮。雖然心境不再相同,但因為這些情緒跟在英國實在太過相同,總是害我一直想起之前在英國聽到然後害我哭得不成人形的三首歌。
When
之前就因為這首歌、實在無法再壓抑而發過一篇心情文。When的歌曲編制、歌詞還有Dodie的歌聲,讓這首歌幾乎是每分每秒都綴著一顆淚珠。當最後一個音符消散,眼淚則墜落成一片汪洋。
每次心情低落、或突然一股懷念之情湧上的時候,就會跑去點開這首歌,然後不變地繼續為了下面這兩段歌詞崩潰:
每次心情低落、或突然一股懷念之情湧上的時候,就會跑去點開這首歌,然後不變地繼續為了下面這兩段歌詞崩潰:
Am I the only one
wishing life away?
Never caught up in the moment
busy begging the past to stay
Memories painted with much brighter ink;
they tell me I loved, teach me how to think.
I'll take what I can get
cause I'm too damp for a spark.
Kissing sickly sweet guys
cause they say they like my eyes
but I'd only ever see them in the dark.
wishing life away?
Never caught up in the moment
busy begging the past to stay
Memories painted with much brighter ink;
they tell me I loved, teach me how to think.
I'll take what I can get
cause I'm too damp for a spark.
Kissing sickly sweet guys
cause they say they like my eyes
but I'd only ever see them in the dark.
Something Just Like This
我永遠記得發現這首歌的情景。
當時的我趴在宿舍的書桌上,因為心情太崩潰而讀不下書,所以想聽點快樂的歌轉移注意力。可惜自己過去聽的音樂也都不甚歡快,想著有哪些歌手或樂團的音樂通常都有點heart-lifting?於是在YouTube上輸入了Coldplay,第一時間看到Something Just Like This,想說沒聽過耶、是新歌,來聽聽看吧。
旋律是輕快的沒錯,但當我聽著聽著,聽到副歌的這一句,整個人突然往桌子一趴、在電腦前眼淚潰堤。
當時的我趴在宿舍的書桌上,因為心情太崩潰而讀不下書,所以想聽點快樂的歌轉移注意力。可惜自己過去聽的音樂也都不甚歡快,想著有哪些歌手或樂團的音樂通常都有點heart-lifting?於是在YouTube上輸入了Coldplay,第一時間看到Something Just Like This,想說沒聽過耶、是新歌,來聽聽看吧。
旋律是輕快的沒錯,但當我聽著聽著,聽到副歌的這一句,整個人突然往桌子一趴、在電腦前眼淚潰堤。
How much you wanna risk?
雖然這首歌的本意與人生整體際遇什麼的毫無關聯,但人總是會抓住一件事情發生的那個當下對自己產生最大共鳴或影響的片段不放。我哭得要死要活,卻還是一遍又一遍地重播著。輕快的旋律和變化多端的歌詞MV似乎顯得諷刺,我繼續哭著,不斷問自己:How much you wanna risk、how much are you willing to risk?都已經來到了這裡,妳到底願意付出多少、踏出多多?
All We Do
忘記是怎麼聽到這首歌的,其實也不知道這首歌究竟在說什麼,但每次聽到"All we do is hide away, All we do is chase the day,"就好像有一把刀刺進自己的心一樣,一方面因為主唱的聲音很輕柔,彷彿能撫慰人心但我卻不配;另一方面是覺得好像自己被指控了,而我知道那句句屬實--我就是只有一日過一日,像是一隻自以為挺著頭的鴕鳥。
雖然這天,我在留言中找到了下面這段話,一位粉絲說是Oh Wonder主唱在某一場美國演唱會上要演唱這首歌前說的話:
"I just want to say, if you guys have any tiny seeds of magic growing inside you, whether they are little goals you want to achieve, or massive adventures you want to embark on, whoever you want to be, whatever you want to do, believe that anything and everything is possible, because it really is. You just have to believe in yourself and have faith in yourself. Dream big. And this song celebrates that."
"I just want to say, if you guys have any tiny seeds of magic growing inside you, whether they are little goals you want to achieve, or massive adventures you want to embark on, whoever you want to be, whatever you want to do, believe that anything and everything is possible, because it really is. You just have to believe in yourself and have faith in yourself. Dream big. And this song celebrates that."
啊。
最終,刺突的心似乎又被撫平了一些。
最終,刺突的心似乎又被撫平了一些。